nationbooksprojectofnation
large_book

Buy It Online
    Amazon >
    Barnes & Noble >
    Booksense.com >
    Powells.com >

Beam Me Up, Jesus

A Heathen's Guide to the Rapture

Jim Gerard
June 2007     ISBN: 1568583273

From Nostradamus to the Watchtower, prophets and scribes have been getting the date of the Rapture wrong. But who can now deny that the portents of the Second Coming are finally here? From wars and rumors of war to famine, flood, and pestilence, from East Coast/West Coast hip-hop battles and the advent of So You Think You Can Dance, the prophecies of the Book of Revelation are finally coming to fruit. The bad news is that the Rapture has come and you've been Left Behind.

The good news is that you unbelievers, heathens, Satanists, French-kissing liberal Democrats and Christians who didn't read the Bible all the way to the end can still have one hell of a good time.

Beam Me Up, Jesus will help you navigate your way through born-again America. You'll discover tips on how to make sure you're not Left Behind, how to protect yourself against giant demonic locusts, how to handle coitus Rapturuptus--that embarrassing moment when your partner disappears right in the middle of intercourse--and what to do when you discover, well, Satan just isn't that into you.

About the Authors

Jim Gerard is an author, journalist, playwright and stand-up comic. He has written humor for the New Republic, Travel & Leisure, Playboy, Maxim, and Cosmopolitan; features for the Washington Post, Salon, Details, New York Observer and many other magazines. He has performed stand-up comedy and is the author of Yankees Suck and Celebrity Skin. His website is www.gangof60.com.
signup

for our FREE e-mail newsletter, a monthly dispatch of events, excerpts, commentary by Nation Books and Nation Institute writers.



Clive Stafford Smith Testifies at an Open Hearing About the Treatment of Guantanamo Detainees

May 20 | 2 pm Room 2172, Rayburn House Office Building, Washington, DC 20515
Listen to human rights lawyer, Nation Books author and lawyer for more than 40 prisoners at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, testify before the Subcommittee on International Organizations, Human Rights, and Oversight at an open hearing.

May 21
How to Rule The World Book Tour
(Across the United States)
Nation Books author Mark Engler is currently on a multi-city book tour that ends on May 21 to promote his new book, How to Rule The World. MORE

May 24 | 2 pm
Ask Jonathan Schell A Question About Nuclear Danger
(Northwestern University, Evanston campus, IL)
Ask a question Senior Fellow Jonathan Schell talk about "the new shape of nuclear danger" at the Q&A presented by the North Suburban Peace Initiative, a free event. MORE

June 3 | 7 pm
True Crimes: The Untold Story Behind the Devastation of Iraq
(Town Hall, 123W 43rd St, New York NY 10036)
Listen to Institute Fellows Chris Hedges and Jeremy Scahill in conversation with journalist Laila Al-Arian and Seymour Hersh about the war in Iraq, the plight of Iraqi civilians and the role of private mercenaries on the ground. MORE